The Blog of Author Tim Ferriss - Latest Comments in Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

Oscar Del Ben — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 03:57:12 -0000

The most important behavior people should change is to stop complain when they get up in the morning. Start the day by smiling and jump off your bed to enjoy the first day of your future life.

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

kawn — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 22:45:45 -0000

in my experience this will not work with my family (we are jewish)

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

Joseph Turian — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 21:40:27 -0000

Tim,

Try this social experiment. Tiana and I call it: "No More Hand Holding".

Do you ever have friends who you need to nag, repeatedly, to get them to do things that are ultimately in their best interest? Like you have to ask them four times to go to a fun party with you. 75% of the time, these friends just like it that you hold their hand in order to get them to do things. And the other 25% of the time, they flat out refuse, and you feel even stupider for wasting your time.

So the rule is: If someone declines to do something that you know is in their best interest, *after you have explained to them why they should do it*, then you stop. Can you make it for twenty-one days? Actually, this one is easy, because it's so exhilarating to be discharged from the responsibility of helping ungrateful people.

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

lee — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 19:31:49 -0000

Several years ago, after I'd gone through a very rough patch, I found that no-one wanted to be around me and realized that just about everything that came out of my mouth was negative and victim-based. Blecch!

I decided that I wasn't going to let anything negative come out of my mouth for 30 days just to see how my world would change. It worked. The first couple of weeks, I didn't contribute much to conversations, but eventually my mind started, without a lot of effort on my part, to come up with positive things to say. Now people think of me as an enormously positive person and I'm able to see opportunities everywhere. It's probably the biggest life-changer I've done in the last ten years.

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

CVOS man — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 18:51:51 -0000

If you have computer problems (or any basic questions) use twitter. I have tweeted when I was at a dead end or needed good recommendations and have almost always been pleasantly surprised with the helpful results.

You could have asked how to resize images in iphoto and found this is done through:

file > export > set the file type

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

Boyd Smith — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 20:29:01 -0000

Criticism & complaint are a few of our dark companions as entrepreneurs. By definition we are always looking for a better way than the status quo. This causes us to see the lack so that we can identify the opportunity to make it better. The more we develop the opportunity the more we realize how lacking the status quo really is. It is a vicious cycle....and once we put more energy into identifying the problems than we do in making the solutions we have failed. Avoiding this failure requires radical action like Tim described in the post.

Other good books on this subject include:

QBQ - The Question behind the Question by John Miller

How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

Laura T. — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 22:40:26 -0000

I'd add not accepting complements right up there with complaining about yourself.

If someone says something nice about you, arguing with them is awkward and bad form. Smile, say "thanks," and move on!

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

sri — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 22:48:07 -0000

"word choice determines thought choice"

sort of. they influence each other... like a feedback loop.

so what determines word choice? assuming speaker not reading from script.

metaphor choice.
symbols and interpreted meaning.

do you think will bowen has a metpahor?
of course. everyone does.

some people take their metaphors literally. e.g. they may think that a symbolic event in history used to convey meaning(s) actually took place.
this is how disagreements are made.

all due respect, i wonder if will wants you to have the same metaphor as he does. can he tolerate other metaphors?

only he knows.

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

Aaron I — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 03:54:45 -0000

Another behavior that people should stop is saying "uh... uh... , and-and-and" and the like while speaking. Doing so wastes time and decreases your credibility.

A bracelet, necklace, or simple marking with a marker could be used to remind the user to calm down and speak without interrupting his or her self.

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

Chad McMillan — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 01:37:19 -0000

Well this question is from a while ago, but I thought I would post anyway.

What other behavior, besides complaining, do you think people should stop?

Well its not really a behavior to stop, but what about a behavior to start?
I think if you train yourself to pick up 1 piece of garbage a day, the world would be alot better. Its amazing how much trash is out there, all around us. If each of us was to pick up 1 piece, everyday....well that would make a big difference, and a cleaner happier planet!

Bonus: If you were holding a party for 100 VIPs in SF or NYC and had no budget (or no more than $1,000, whichever you prefer), what would you do to make the event memorable and fun?

This ones a little tougher.....I'ld probably rent a couple of those giant blow up bouncers and slides. When ever you see those, they are only at kids parties, and adults don't get to go on them. I think it would be a blast!

Thanks

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

Martijn — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 15:26:39 -0000

People who say it can not be done should get out of the way of people who are doing it! Here I come

Nice mantra.

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

Daniel — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:11:32 -0000

stop stopping and start loving

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

Chris — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 05:31:37 -0000

Hi there,

I know I'm late in the game, but just wanted to add what I think may be another cognitive glitch that should be eradicated. It is really just two words, that often appear in any dialogue.

"Yeah, but..."

It slips out before we know it, and yet it does such damage to any attempt at generating or building ideas.

"Yeah" corresponds to the non-acknowledgment of what was just said, the walking over it. It makes no attempt to bridge the two speakers. It is an override.

"But" is an almost a conversational onomatopoeia, because it actually butts in with the second speaker's preconceived or just-conceived ideas. It begins a new line of thought that negates whatever was just said.

I propose that this little minion of unreflective thought be driven out of our dialogues, especially those that try to reach a deeper understanding of any given issue, or give rise to new ideas. Or even more so, when there is disagreement.

In its stead I might suggest pauses, actual moments of silence or thought phrases ("Hmmm..." etc.), in order to actually take in and process what was said and meld it in some way with what is to come.

More than that, it shifts the goals of dialogue from domination to an intersubjective sensitivity whereby the act of building ideas is more important.

I know this is a small thing, but I feel it is one worth examining in daily life.

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

e-satis — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 07:58:01 -0000

Well, it's an old blog post, but since an idea is never lost :

For a cheap memorable party, I'll go with the giant bubble recipe. I am not talking about that messy-fashion-bubble-bath parties where every body is covered with soap.

I am talking about a recipe mixing water, fairy dreft and glycerin, allowing anyone with a string to create 3-4 m big bubbles. It's magical, and fun.

And for the ones that won't be satisfied with a such the girly concept, you can use methane to blow the bubbles and make your own incredible pyrotechnical show, including special effects, with very little money.

You may be sued as well. I did not, and it's worth it. Especially by night on the beach... Watch you friends anyway, it smells like fried chicken, the party will be over.

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

J.R. Jackson (Internet's $8-Mi — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 05:57:04 -0000

I just ordered the book. I wonder if there is a place here in Utah that would have the bracelets?

J.R.

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

gillian rees — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 17:01:57 -0000

i have removed all vocabulary that admits to chance, fortune and luck, as i don't believe that these are actual forces in life. So, no more, un/fortunately, un/lucky, hopefully, good luck etc....it is challenging to come up with other ways to say nice things to people, or to be compassionate without saying these types of things, that don't mean much and aren't comforting really...so i am going deeper and thinking more actively...it is amazing how often one uses these terms...

best wishes...

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

Neil — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 06:45:44 -0000

Suggestion for an anti-complaint tool:

When you hear a whine in progress, try asking "What would you like to do?" (or something as similar as you can). Avoid slipping (or letting them) slip into how they want things to magically "be" without doing something themselves to create their preferred outcome.

I've observed that those who would rather be unhappy (presumably for the lack of anything better to do) often lapse into embarrassed silence a few seconds after their initial unempowered not-taking-personal-responsibility response. And occasionally, you get to witness a breakthrough (of the "I guess I could come half an hour earlier to avoid the queue" type).

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

Ben Biggs — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 12:36:06 -0000

People need to immediately and violently halt all assumption making processes about other individuals. Assumptions made on people applies a standard that we have pre-concocted to a GROUP of people that may or may-not be true of an INDIVIDUAL. For example, a person wearing garments from another culture, or a different accent, is immediately categorized into our pre-conceived file for identifiying people. This is a huge limiter because it dismisses the ability to engage in learning from another human being. Grouping is natural because it is our brains making a move for greater efficiency. We cannot possibly process each person we meet as a distinct individual. Or can we? The next time we encounter someone who is unfamiliar to us, maybe we should turn off our brain filters, and engage in our common humanity. A world of understanding is a handshake away.

And if i were throwing a party with the above mentioned particulars, i would have a fleet of human powered drawn carriges out front of my high rise apartment. And in between the sesame chicken and the obscene dessert we would race to the capitol building here in Denver. Whoever got there first would receive a $100 mens warehouse gift-card, and a funky hat.

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

David — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 08:02:28 -0000

May I have a bracelet.

Please.

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

StephB — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 18:06:28 -0000

people should use the bracelet therapy to stop saying the word "like" every 10 seconds. It sounds innocent in conversation but really unprofessional and juvenile in an interview or business meeting. And the interview isn't the place to think "oh crap, I just said 'like' again".

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

Kay — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 10:57:02 -0000

Bad habits I (personally) would like to see stopped:

Being verbally abusive to myself when I mess up - as in, "How could I be such a stupid @#$%%?"

Bad habits I see all around me:

Comparing yourself to others and always coming up short. The grass is always greener on the other side. Some people look like they have everything together and then you find out they've lost someone they love, or they are going through a divorce.

Thinking other people are lucky and that's why they're where they're at in life, or why they are in shape, or why they have a fun job. Not everything in life is about luck. Physically fit people are fit because they are at the gym, or on a bike, and they watch what they eat. Saying other people are lucky is a cop out, because it infers that you can't accomplish these things yourself because you're not lucky.

Party idea - At least for the entertainment, we tried a small book called "If - Questions for the Game of Life". Put people in small groups and ask each other questions, some whimsical, some thought-provoking. You will walk away really knowing the people you played the game with. I guarantee you the questions are not about what you do for a living.

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

I'm disappinted — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 19:27:58 -0000

The rebel, the libertarian, the hacker, the genius that is Tim Ferriss uses an Apple overpriced, incapable computer, and then to top it off runs Mac OS X on it.

Wow, macs are for n00bz.
And the people who posted before me act like Windows (which they call "PC" is the only other option)....

umm Fedora, Ubuntu???

I see you as the intello blogger who isn't like all the others (i.e. voting for Obama, using a Mac, blah, blah, blah)
You are against FISA!!! You do not fall into the two-party trap (GOP is to DEM as Windows is to Mac) The former being cheaper, more efficient, yet can get viruses (Let's continue the analogy by calling the viruses Neo-cons grr) and Macs, overpriced, inefficient, incapable.
Vote 3rd Party. Use Linux.

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

Macs blow — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 19:20:01 -0000

what kind of rebel libertarian like Tim Ferriss uses a Mac?

Just baffles me.

I'd expect you to run Fedora or Ubuntu on something that's not overpriced and incapable *cough cough* like a mac *cough*

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

Joseph Santoyo — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 18:52:16 -0000

Bonus: If you were holding a party for 100 VIPs in SF or NYC and had no budget (or no more than $1,000, whichever you prefer), what would you do to make the event memorable and fun?

I would show them how to use $1,000 to make the night memorable, and they would never forget it.

What other behavior, besides complaining, do you think people should stop? How could train themselves to stop?

Other behaviors besides complaining that people should stop is being so negative. Negativity has a deep effect on me especially in school. If someone is depressed I can't be around them. So they should learn to turn the negativity into something positive or find a way to make it better.

- Joseph

Re: Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 02:15:42 -0000

The other behavior besides complaining I think people should stop is using the phrase "I can't." When we are children, it seems like that phrase is not even in our vocabulary and the world is full of endless possibilities where we can grow up to be a doctor, a lawyer, or an astronaut. Somewhere between childhood and adulthood the phrase "I can't" sets in and becomes an excuse for our mediocrity. The world doesn't limit us, we limit ourselves.

As far as the bonus question, I would throw a carnival. Working for a non-profit, I am used to throwing parties with little to no money. It is amazing how cheap it is to throw a carnival with all the extras.... games, food, prizes. It would be a good reminder for everyone to realize how fun it is to be a kid again.